Once More, With FeelingAgain
by Purple Faith
Summary: A Power Ranger/Buffy X-Over.....the title says all....rating my go up later
1. Worlds collide in a Dream

Disclaimer--We don't own them, and never will. Well, unless we win the lottery..... Anyway, this is what our weird little minds came up with. R&R, if u don't mind.  
Author's Note--We are Step of Faith and Psycho Purple. We made a name that people may or may not recognize, so we didn't have to argue about who got to put this up. This may be our only collaboration, but there may be more.....Enjoy!  
  
Once More, With Feeling......Again  
Chapter 1: Worlds Collide in a Dream, Going Through the Motions  
  
5-03-96  
Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd looked at what they had called up. The demon red and horned, with an evil grin. They hoped this plan would worked. They had a feeling it would.  
What would you like me to do? he rubbed his hands together and grinned.   
In a few years, Rita told, you'll know when, I want you to go after the Rangers and make them dance.  
I can't wait to hear what they have to sing about! Zedd cheered.  
The demons nods and snaps his fingers. It's done.  
He disappears, gone to plan exactly how he was gonna make this work.  
  
2002  
Buffy's bedroom, morning. An old-fashioned alarm clock (the kind with actual bells), sits on her bedside table. The clock hits 7:00 and the alarm goes off.   
Buffy's in bed, and rolls over to glare at the clock. She reaches over, picks it up, looks at it.   
Willow walks across her bedroom, then she turns and goes back the way she came. Grabs a sweater from a chair and exits into the bathroom. As she goes, Tara makes the bed. She finds the herb that Willow used to do the "forget" spell. Tara picks it up, sniffs it, and smiles.   
In the hallway, Dawn runs out of her room and over to the bathroom door. She knocks on the door while jumping from foot to foot as if she has to pee. Willow comes out of the bathroom brushing her hair. Dawn rushes into the bathroom.   
Across the hallway again reveals Buffy still lying in bed, awake.   
  
Xander and Anya are looking at a bridal magazine, smiling and talking. A customer comes over and Anya escorts her toward the cash register.   
Dawn stands by the bookshelves looking at a book. Giles comes over and takes the book away. Dawn looks annoyed. Giles gestures with the book and she walks off.   
At the round table, Willow and Tara look at a book together and take notes. Buffy sits next to Tara, sketching on a pad.   
Giles comes over and holds a large axe in Buffy's line of sight. Then he gestures with his head toward the back and walks away. Buffy puts down her sketch pad, gets up and follows Giles toward the workout room, taking off her sweater as she goes.   
  
Cut to the graveyard, night. Buffy walks along, looking around. Suddenly, she can feel this weird urge come over her......   
BUFFY:   
Every single night, the same arrangement  
I go out and fight the fight.  
Still I always feel this strange estrangement  
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.   
A vampire appears from behind a gravestone, rushes at Buffy. She spins him around, continues singing.   
BUFFY:  
I've been making shows of [punch] trading blows  
Just hoping no one knows [kick, grabs vampire and throws him behind her]  
That I've been going through the motions  
Walking through the part.   
Buffy pulls a stake from her jacket pocket. The vamp attacks her from behind and she stakes him without looking back.  
BUFFY: Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.   
She resumes walking and singing.   
BUFFY:   
I was always brave, and kind of righteous.  
Now I find I'm wavering.   
We see two vampires and a demon gathered near a tree. There's a person tied to the tree. The vampires see Buffy and attack.  
BUFFY:  
Crawl out of your grave, you'll find this fight just [punches a vampire]  
Doesn't mean a thing. [punches second vamp]  
VAMP 1:  
She ain't got that swing.   
The vamp punches Buffy and she goes down. A sword is stuck in the ground beside her. She lies there on her back. Sound of crickets chirping.   
BUFFY: Thanks for noticing.   
She continues lying there as the two vamps and the demon begin to do a dance.   
VAMPS AND DEMON:  
She does pretty well with fiends from hell  
But lately we can tell [Buffy gets up and grabs the sword]  
That she's just going through the motions  
DEMON:  
Going through the motions.   
Buffy pulls Vamp 1 away, cuts off his head with the sword.   
VAMP 2: Faking it somehow. [Buffy pushes him aside, stabs the demon]  
DEMON: She's not even half the girl she- [looks down at his wound] ow.   
The demon falls over. Buffy continues walking, holding the sword.   
BUFFY:  
Will I stay this way forever?  
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?   
She uses the sword to cut the ropes that are tying the person to a tree. The person comes around the tree trunk and we see it's a very good-looking man.   
HANDSOME GUY:  
How can I repay-  
BUFFY:  
Whatever.   
She turns away, tosses the sword aside and continues walking.   
BUFFY:  
I don't want to beeeeee...  
[walks up onto a raised platform ringed by statues, stops]  
Going through the motions  
Losing all my drive.  
I can't even see  
If this is really me  
And I just want to be-  
Vamp 2 attacks her and she stakes him. He explodes into dust which forms an artful cloud, obscuring Buffy from view, then clears as she sings the final word.   
BUFFY: Aliiiiiive.   
Buffy stands amidst the gravestones, hoping for more things to hurt. She gets her wish. A giant bird flies out of no where and knocks her to the ground.  
Get back here bird brian! Buffy here's some shouts.  
She shoves the thing off and starts to kick it's ass. Another one comes out of no where, and she takes on that one. She barely notices six teenagers join her and take on the seven buddies of the ugly black birds. In a few minutes, only feathers remain.  
A graveyard, Buffy looks at a boy in a blue t shirt and a red jacket. That's new.  
The Slayer decides to make herself known. Depends on where you're from.  
The six look at her, and look a little scared. The one in a red shirt and green shirt with white trim leads the group to her.  
We're from Angel Grove, he says.   
You're in Sunnydale. Any particular reason why you fight giant birds?  
We like it, a gut in a green shirt and black jacket shrugs.   
Why do you kill vampires? a guy in a blue shirt and jacket asks.  
Anger issues, Buffy shrugs. Giant birds are new, but not unusual. These people, however, have her attention.  
Why do I have the feeling we're not being truthful? a girl in a pink shirt and jacket asks.  
A moment of silence, and something springs out of the ground. Buffy goes into instant action and stakes the vampire. Thing was, the vampire was behind her, and she moved way too fast.   
When she looks back, she sees them in action, only this time with twice as many birds. They seem fine, but she just can't walk away. She grabs one and throws it into a crypt wall. When it doesn't move, she decides that this might be a little fun. After ten minutes, their done, and face each other again.  
A girl in a yellow shirt and jacket pushes the guy who is obviously their leader toward Buffy.  
Lead, oh fearless leader.  
The guy walks up to her and smiles nervously. I'm Tommy. They're Rocky, Billy, Kat, Adam, and Tanya.  
I'm Buffy. So, you do this often?  
Yeah. Sorta our job.  
Kat sighs, stop checking her out.  
Rocky blushes, and fakes hurt. Do you really think so lowly of me?  
his friends answer, sighing.  
Ignore him, please? Adam begs.  
Buffy shrugs. I have a friend like him, so, yeah, ok. Ever heard of a Slayer?  
Tommy answers. Ever hear of the Power Rangers?  
Never. I take it you're new around here.  
Billy answers this time. Yes. We actually just got here.  
Tengas are never good things, Adam puts in, so we just started hurting them.  
Always a good plan, Buffy agrees.  
They talk for a while longer.  
Anyway, do you have a place to stay?  
They nod, answering with the motel.  
Well, there's this place called the Magic Box in town. If you stop by there, maybe we can get things worked out.  
They agree, and they split ways. Singing, dancing, giant black birds, and super heroes. All and all, a good night.


	2. I've got a theory and more rangers?

A/N: I know we run late in updating. But bear with us here. We are trying to make things more interesting. Besides we have finals and other things. School is letting out also. So no flames.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the Rangers or Buffy. If we did, the whole plot would be so changed.   
  
Once more with feelings...Again?  
  
By Purple Faith  
  
Chapter 2: I've got a theory and more rangers?  
  
At the Magic Box the next day, the bell jingles, and Buffy enters.   
  
"Good morning, Buffy!" Giles greets.  
  
Willow and Tara are standing by the counter. Giles is near a bookshelf.   
  
"Oh, hey," Willow smiles. "Did Dawn get off to school all   
  
right?"  
  
Buffy seems distracted. "What? Oh, uh, yeah. I think so."  
  
Buffy walks farther into the store. Xander sits at the round table holding a   
  
donut in each hand.   
  
"Respect the cruller," he holds one up. "And tame the   
  
donut! "  
  
Anya passes by going to the counter.  
  
"That's still funny, sweetie."  
  
Anya goes behind the counter. Giles looks in the box of donuts, takes one   
  
out, takes a bite.   
  
" So, uh, no research? " Buffy asks. "Nothing going on?   
  
Monsters or what not?"  
  
Giles and Xander shake their heads "no," continue eating donuts.   
  
"Good! Good." She looks around awkwardly. "Uh, so, did   
  
anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um ... burst into   
  
song?"  
  
Giles stops chewing. Everyone twitches and stares at Buffy for a moment.  
  
" Merciful Zeus! " Xander gasps.   
  
Willow, Tara, and Anya rush over. Everyone talks at once.  
  
" We thought it was just us! " Willow starts.  
  
" Well, " Giles shrugs " I sang but I had my guitar at the   
  
hotel..."  
  
"It was bizarre," Tara comments. "We were talking and then   
  
it was like-"  
  
"Like you were in a musical! " Buffy interrupts.  
  
" Yeah! "  
  
" That would explain,"; Giles nods, "the huge backing orchestra   
  
I couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from the room service   
  
chaps."  
  
" We did a whole duet about dish washing," Willow grins.  
  
" And we were arguing and," Anya puts in, " and then everything   
  
rhymed and there were harmonies and the dance with coconuts. (coconuts! um...like *twitch twitch*)  
  
" There was an entire verse about the cous-cous," Willow   
  
remembers.  
  
" It was very disturbing," Xander puts in.  
  
Everyone talking at once.   
  
" What did you sing about Buffy?" Giles asks.  
  
"I don't remember," Buffy puases, "but i-it seemed perfectly   
  
normal."   
  
" But disturbing," Xander tells. "And not the natural order   
  
of things, and do you think it'll happen again? "   
  
" I don't know," Giles shrugs. "I should look into   
  
it."  
  
" With the books," Willow nods.  
  
" Do we have any books on this? " Tara asks.  
  
" Well, we just gotta break it down," Xander sits. " Look at   
  
the factors before it happens again. Because I for one-"  
  
The bell above the door goes off again, and they all look up. Seven young   
  
people walk in and look around. Buffy immediatly walks up to them and   
  
smiles.  
  
"Good you're here." She motions them to come in more, and   
  
looks at the rest. " I met these guys last night. I asked them to come   
  
here."  
  
The Rangers were cautious. They had to be. Maybe they weren't Rangers   
  
anymore, but the secret still had to be kept. Tommy look at Buffy, not too   
  
sure about the others.  
  
" Don't worry," she says. " They're used to the   
  
wierd. That's Giles our brain, Xander the multipurpose one, Willow and   
  
Tara are witches, and Anya is an ex demon. Guys, these are the Power   
  
Rangers."  
  
Tommy steps forward more at Rocky's push. " I'm Tommy, and   
  
that's Kat, Tanya, Rocky, Adam, and Billy. "  
  
" Power Rangers? " Giles asks. " I've heard of you. The   
  
ones who fight the space monsters, right?"  
  
They nod. Buffy can see the tension, so she tries something.  
  
" They helped last night in the cemetary. Their enemies were there, and   
  
gathering of baddies can't be good, right?"  
  
" Hey, did you guys burst into song?" Xander asks.  
  
The Rangers trade glances before grining.  
  
" A small one," Rocky shrugs. " At least we're not the   
  
only ones."  
  
Things relax a little, and the Rangers take seats around the place. Tommy   
  
explains things a little.  
  
" We were sent here by our mentor, since the current team has their own   
  
problems. We're expecting more of our friends to show up, too. All we   
  
know is that somebody planed this years ago and it's aimed at us to keep   
  
us from finding something.  
  
" That's not helpful," Anya mutters.  
  
Rocky shrugs, " Dimitria won't say more, and she's usually a   
  
cryptic pain in the--"  
  
Kat and Adam smack him and he shuts up while wincing. Billy just grins from   
  
the background. Just then...   
  
TOMMY:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
That it's a monster  
  
A dancing monster!  
  
No, something isn't right there.  
  
WILLOW:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
Some kid is dreamin'  
  
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare. [Tara doing   
  
jazz hands]  
  
ADAM:  
  
I've got a theory we should work this out.  
  
KAT/ADAM/TANYA/XANDER:  
  
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?  
  
XANDER/ROCKY: [jumps up]  
  
It could be witches!  
  
Some evil witches!  
  
Willow and Tara glare at them.  
  
Which is ridiculous, 'cause witches they were persecuted,  
  
Wicca good and love the earth and woman power  
  
and I'll be over here. [sits]  
  
ANYA: I've got a theory! It could be bunnies!   
  
Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping.   
  
TANYA: I've got a-   
  
Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar   
  
and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Anya.   
  
ANYA: (shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)  
  
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!  
  
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!  
  
And what's with all the carrots?  
  
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?  
  
[playing air guitar]  
  
Bunnies!  
  
Bunnies!  
  
It must be bunnies!   
  
Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others   
  
continue simply staring.   
  
ANYA: (back to original melody)  
  
Or maybe midgets.  
  
WILLOW/TANYA: (quickly sits down beside Giles and opens a book)  
  
I've got a theory we should work this fast.  
  
WILLOW/GILES/BILLY/TOMMY:   
  
Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.   
  
Giles gets up, starts to climb the stairs to the loft.   
  
BUFFY:   
  
I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.   
  
Giles pauses, turns back. Everyone looks at Buffy.   
  
BUFFY:  
  
What can't we face if we're together?  
  
What's in this place that we can't weather?  
  
Apocalypse?  
  
We've all been there.  
  
The same old trips  
  
Why should we care?  
  
ALL EXCEPT GILES:  
  
What can't we do if we get in it?  
  
We'll work it through within a minute.   
  
Buffy looks at Giles throughout this. He watches her too and finally joins   
  
in.   
  
ALL:  
  
We have to try  
  
We'll pay the price  
  
It's do or die  
  
BUFFY/ZORDONin background:  
  
Hey, I've died twice.   
  
Giles smiles, comes down off the ladder.   
  
ALL: What can't we face if we're together?  
  
GILES: (descant) What can't we face...  
  
ALL: What's in this place that we can't weather?  
  
GILES: ...if we're together...  
  
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.  
  
ANYA: (sits) Except for bunnies.   
  
  
  
" See, okay," Rocky sits, "that was disturbing."  
  
" I thought it was neat," Willow also sits.  
  
" So what is it? " Buffy asks. " What's causing it? "  
  
" I thought it didn't matter," Giles looks at her.  
  
" Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but   
  
there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't   
  
usually lead to hugs and puppies."  
  
" Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to us? 'Cause that   
  
would probably mean a spell or-"  
  
Buffy goes to the door, opens it. The bell jingles.   
  
In the street. A man stands in the street holding a shirt in a dry-cleaning   
  
bag.   
  
DAVID: (sings) They got ... the mustard ... out!   
  
A whole crowd of people standing in dance formation holding dry-cleaning   
  
bags. They do a synchronized dance, waving the clothing around.   
  
CROWD: (sings) They got the mustard out!   
  
Buffy turns back into the store, closes the door.   
  
" It's not just us," Buffy shrugs.   
  
" What we do know," Billy starts, " is that if our foes and   
  
your own team up, they'll unleash a powerful evil."  
  
" So what else is new? " Anya and someone from the door asks.  
  
They turn to see five more people standing there. Kimberly is smiling as she   
  
is the one who said it. With her are Trini, Zack, Jason, and Aisha. The   
  
other Rangers bolt up and greet their friends. They guide them to the   
  
others.  
  
" These are the other Rangers," Tommy starts, then sees   
  
Jason's look. " Don't worry, bro, they're cool. Jason,   
  
Kim, Trini, Zack, and Aisha."  
  
The Scoobies introduce themselves as well. As the need to figure what's   
  
going on becomes apparent, they all settle down and begin to talk and   
  
think.  
  
A/N: Please r/r ^_^ 


	3. Under your spellI'll Never Tell

Once more with feelings...Again  
  
By Purple Faith  
  
Disclaimer--we own nothing. This is just our twisted minds at work.  
  
Chapter 3: I'LL NEVER TELL & I'M UNDER YOUR SPELL  
  
Dawn enters the store wearing a huge smile. "Oh my god. You will never   
  
believe what happened at school today."  
  
The rest of the gang sitting around the table looking at books.   
  
"Everybody started singing and dancing?" Buffy asks   
  
Dawn looks disappointed. "I gave birth to a pterodactyl."  
  
"Oh my god,"Anya looks up. "Did it sing?"   
  
Willow and Tara starts whispering to each other.   
  
"So, you guys too, huh?" Dawn walks closer.  
  
"So what'd you guys sing about?" Xander asks.  
  
"Math," Dawn sighs.  
  
Dawn puts down her backpack, and sits on a stool by the counter. Willow   
  
stops whispering in Tara's ear.   
  
"Tha-That's right!" Tara says loudly. "The, the volume. The text."  
  
"What text?" Giles asks.  
  
"The volume-y text," Willow explains. "You know? The, the report."  
  
"The what now?" Xander leans closer.  
  
"Oh," Tara takes over. "There's just a few volumes back at the house   
  
that deal with mystical chants, bacchanals."   
  
Dawn glances at the counter, and sees a necklace lying there.   
  
"It might be relevant."  
  
"Yeah, we could, um-" Willow mumbles.  
  
"Well," Giles nods, "I'm a hair's breadth from investigating bunnies  
  
at   
  
the moment, so I'm open to anything."   
  
Dawn furtively picks up the necklace and puts it in her pocket.   
  
" Great," Willow smiles. "We'll, uh, go check it out and uh, we'll  
  
give you a call."  
  
"Yeah," Tara grins, "this could blow the whole thing wide open."   
  
Willow and Tara are walking through a park. It's sunny and beautiful. Green   
  
grass, blue sky, etc.   
  
" Do we have any books at all at home?" Tara finally asks.  
  
"Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this?" Willow questions   
  
back. "The sun is shining, there's songs going on..."   
  
A couple of young men walk by and look at Willow and Tara as they pass.   
  
"...those guys are checking you out."  
  
"What?" Tara turns to look. "Wh-What are they looking at?"  
  
Willow grins. "The hotness of you, doofus."  
  
"Those boys really thought I was hot?" (She looks back at them again)  
  
"Entirely."  
  
"Oh my god. I'm cured! I want the boys!"   
  
Tara makes like she's going to run after the guys. Willow grabs her and pulls   
  
her back, and Tara giggles.   
  
"Do I have to fight to keep you?" Willow asks. " 'Cause I'm not large   
  
with the butch."   
  
They stand underneath a tree, leaning on a wooden railing.   
  
"I'm just ... not used to that," Tara shrugs. "They-they were really   
  
looking at me?"  
  
" And you can't imagine what they see in you."  
  
"I know exactly what they see in me. You."  
  
In another park of town, Tommy is walking alone. After the Rangers made   
  
contact with Dimitria, saying that they were succesful with contacting the   
  
Sunnydale people. He's going over what Dimitira had sent them, trying to find  
  
out what would help. He's also trying to avoid Kimberly. The last time they were   
  
in the same room, things didn't go so well.  
  
TARA and TOMMY:   
  
I lived my life in shadow  
  
Never the sun on my face.  
  
It didn't seem so sad, though  
  
I figured that was my place  
  
Now I'm bathed in light  
  
Tara walks out from the shade, lifting her face to the sun.  
  
TARA AND TOMMY  
  
Something just isn't right  
  
I'm under your spell  
  
How else could it be  
  
Anyone would notice me?  
  
It's magic, I can tell  
  
How you set me free  
  
Brought me out so easily.  
  
There's a little stream with a bridge over it. Willow and Tara are on the   
  
bridge. Tara takes Willow's hand and they walk off the bridge onto a path,   
  
holding hands.   
  
TARA: (verse two)  
  
I saw a world enchanted  
  
Spirits and charms in the air.   
  
Tara makes a gesture with her arm and sparkles appear, following her hand   
  
with a little tinkling noise.   
  
TARA:  
  
I always took for granted  
  
I was the only one there.   
  
Willow makes some even more impressive sparkles with her hand, ending in a   
  
small shower of sparks surrounding them both. They smile at each other.   
  
TARA:  
  
But your power shone  
  
Brighter than any I've known.   
  
Tara spins away from Willow. We see a small pond at the edge of the grass.   
  
Tara begins to dance.   
  
TARA and TOMMY:  
  
I'm under your spell  
  
Nothing I can do  
  
You just took my soul with you   
  
A couple of young women are on the grass sunbathing in the background. They   
  
get up and begin dancing in sync with Tara. Tommy just keeps walking down the   
  
street.  
  
TARA and TOMMY:  
  
You worked your charms so well  
  
Finally, I knew  
  
Everything I dreamed was true  
  
You made me believe.  
  
  
  
Willow and Tara spin around in each other's arms. Suddenly they are in their   
  
bedroom. They sit down on the bed and look lovingly at each other. The music   
  
continues.   
  
TOMMY:  
  
The moon to the tide  
  
TARA:  
  
I can feel you inside  
  
I'm under your spell [lies down on the bed]  
  
Surging like the sea [Willow leans over her, smiles]  
  
Wanting you so helplessly  
  
I break with every swell [Willow moves downward, disappears out of shot]  
  
Lost in ecstasy  
  
Spread beneath my willow tree  
  
You make me complete!   
  
Tara's body slowly rises up and hovers over the bed.   
  
TARA (TOMMY):  
  
You make/(made) me complete  
  
You make/(made( me complete  
  
You make/(made) me...   
  
Back in the magic shop, everyone's still looking at books.   
  
"I bet they're not even working," Xander grumbles.  
  
"Who now?" Buffys asks, confused.  
  
"Willow and Tara. You see the way they were with each other? The   
  
get-a-roominess to them? I bet they're-" he glances at Dawn, catches himself.   
  
"Singing. They're probably singing right now."  
  
"I'm sure Willow and Tara are making every effort," Giles looks up.  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
"Xander," Buffy scrowls at him.  
  
"Buffy, it's okay," Dawn reassures. "I do know about this stuff. Besides,   
  
it's all kinda romantic."  
  
"No it's not!" Buffy and Xander say at the same time.  
  
DAWN: Come on! Songs, dancing around. What's gonna be wrong with that?   
  
In the Bronze, it's dark. A man is tap-dancing across the floor. His   
  
expression is scared and desperate. He continues dancing and suddenly bursts  
  
into   
  
flame, screaming.   
  
He falls to the floor in front of a pair of feet in red shoes and red pants.   
  
A demon in a red suit, with red skin and a pointy chin smiles  
  
"That's entertainment," Sweet smiles.  
  
The next day, in Xander's apartment building.....  
  
"You want some breakfast, baby?" Xander asks Anya.  
  
In the bedroom, Xander and Anya are still in bed.  
  
"You don't have to go to work?" she looks at him.  
  
"Nah, I shut the crew down for the day. My guys start dancing around me,   
  
I don't know if I can deal. It's a flab thing. So, waffles?"  
  
"Will you still make me waffles when we're married?"  
  
"No, I'll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own   
  
half of them." He kisses her. "Hey, how about omelettes? I could do an   
  
omelette. I've almost got that-"   
  
Xander continues talking unintelligibly as Anya sits up and begins to sing.  
  
At the motel where the Rangers are staying at, Kat and Jason are also waking   
  
up. They were sharing a room, since they are going out and everything.   
  
ANYA and KAT:  
  
This is the man that I plan to entangle  
  
Isn't he fine?  
  
ANYA:  
  
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle  
  
Vengeance was mine!  
  
But I'm out of the biz  
  
The name I made, I'll trade for his  
  
Both Girls:  
  
The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head]  
  
I'll never tell.   
  
Anya gets up and walks off. Xander sits up in bed and sings. The same   
  
happens at the motel.  
  
XANDER and JASON:  
  
She is the one  
  
She's such wonderful fun  
  
Such passion and grace.   
  
Anya returns, sits beside him to put on her slippers. Xander fondles her   
  
knee.   
  
XANDER:  
  
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight- [catches himself]  
  
Embrace! Tight embrace! [hugs her]  
  
I'll never let her go [Anya putting slippers on]  
  
JASON AND XANDER  
  
The love we've known can only grow  
  
There's just one thing that - no.  
  
I'll never tell.  
  
ALL FOUR:   
  
'Cause there's nothing to tell.   
  
The two of them leaving the bedroom, emerging into the living room. Jason   
  
and Kat head to the small kitchen.  
  
  
  
GRILS:   
  
He snores.  
  
GUYS:   
  
She wheezes.  
  
GIRLS:   
  
Say 'housework' and he freezes.  
  
XANDER: [opens the fridge]   
  
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.   
  
Xander picks up a green cheese, sniffs it and makes an "ew" face.   
  
GIRLS:   
  
I talk, he breezes.  
  
XANDER:   
  
She doesn't know what 'please' is.  
  
ANYA:   
  
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! [Xander looks annoyed, closes   
  
fridge]  
  
ALL 4:   
  
The vibe gets kind of scary  
  
GUYS:   
  
Like she thinks I'm ordinary  
  
GIRLS:   
  
Like it's all just temporary  
  
BOYS:   
  
Like her toes are kind of hairy  
  
4: [giving each other fake smiles]  
  
But it's all very well  
  
'Cause god knows, I'll never tell!   
  
Xander opens the newspaper. The headline on the front page reads: MAYHEM   
  
CAUSED. MONSTERS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY. Jason looks at the  
  
info   
  
Dimitria sent them.  
  
ANYA:  
  
When things get rough, he  
  
Just hides behind his Buffy! [Xander gives her a look]  
  
Now look, he's getting huffy  
  
'Cause he knows that I know.  
  
BOYS  
  
She clings  
  
She's needy  
  
She's also really greedy  
  
She nev-  
  
GIRLS:   
  
His eyes are beady!  
  
BOYS:   
  
This is my verse, hello!  
  
She-   
  
Anya and Kat begins to dance in flapper style.   
  
GIRLS: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!   
  
Xander and Jason joins the dance and they dance together around the   
  
apartment.   
  
4:   
  
You know...  
  
BOYS:   
  
You're quite the charmer.  
  
GIRLS: My knight in armor.  
  
XANDER:  
  
You're the cutest of the Scoobies  
  
JASON:  
  
With your lips as red as rubies  
  
BOYS: And your firm yet supple- [catches himself]  
  
Tight embrace!   
  
They resume dancing, then go to opposite sides of the dining room table and   
  
sit.   
  
GIRLS:   
  
He's swell  
  
BOYS:   
  
She's sweller  
  
BOYS:   
  
He'll always be my feller  
  
That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified.  
  
ANYA:  
  
I've read this tale  
  
There's wedding, then betrayal  
  
I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide.   
  
They get up, crawl across the table toward each other.   
  
4:  
  
I lied  
  
I said it's easy  
  
I've tried  
  
But there's these fears I've can't quell   
  
They sit with their backs pressed against each other.   
  
BOYS:   
  
Is she looking for a pot of gold?  
  
GIRLS:   
  
Will I look good when I've gotten old? [stands up]  
  
BOYS:   
  
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?  
  
GIRLS:   
  
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?   
  
They get up, resume dancing.   
  
BOYS:   
  
Am I crazy?  
  
GIRLS:   
  
Am I dreamin'?  
  
XANDER:   
  
Am I marrying a demon?  
  
4:  
  
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!  
  
So, thank god, I'll never tell!  
  
I swear that I'll never tell!   
  
They walk around the table, toward the couches in the living-room area.   
  
BOYS:   
  
My lips are sealed  
  
GIRLS:   
  
I take the Fifth  
  
BOYS:   
  
Nothing to see  
  
Move it along  
  
4:  
  
I'll never Tell!   
  
They both fall back onto the sofa, clutching each other and laughing fake   
  
Hollywood-musical laughs.   
  
A/N: That was de end of da chapter. Sorry it took so long, you know we ppl, have a life. PLease r/r 


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